Working hard just to get back to where I was

Its day before weigh in day... This day is alway rough for me.  I literaly worry myself to death about if I will have a good loss Friday morning.  So dumb I know, in the long run its only one day in this long journey to health but I like to be able to log in a good number.  Last week I had a 4 pound loss which is amazing this far in the journey for me.  Then I went and screwed it up on Sunday afternoon and we went to Buffalo Wild Wings.  Who would have thought that my favorite boneless wings were over 800 calories?????  Ridiculous!  Its just chicken!!!  It must be the sauce and the way they prepare it.  Anyways the next morning I was back up 3 pounds!!!  In my head I knew I couldnt have gained 3 pounds in one day.  According to my fitness pal I had only went over my calories by 399 for the day.  One pound isnt even that much.   And here comes the crappiest part of all,,, it took me up until this morning to get that 3 pounds back down!!  Actually I'm still up 4 ounces.   I have did good all week and stayed within my calories, not going over and I've exercised like I'm supposed to plus yesterday I actually did a extra 30 minutes of cardio.   I dont know what is up but Im hoping the hard work will show up on the scale tomorrow morning!  Ben has already has a good loss this week so I know his numbers will be good.  I'm seriously thinking of posting my actual weight on here.  After all its just a number.  I just dont want anyone to judge me. :(    I hate what I weigh!

Kind of a downer post but still going strong

I'm having a down kinda day today.   I shouldn't be, I got up this morning and did my workout, sometimes I let my feelings get in the way of knowing whats right.  I just wish I could be where I want to be now.. I know that's not possible and I didn't pack on the pounds overnight so they wont be coming off in one night.  I know in my head that I am doing the right thing, eating right, working out, not resorting to diet pills.  I'm doing it the healthy way and its working.  I really have nothing to complain about.  
One thing that worries me though is that maybe I'm not doing enough.  I heard over the weekend that to really burn off the fat I should be doing at least a hour of cardio?????  I don't have time for that,,, I suppose I could get up even earlier but I DON'T want to!  I'm still waiting to get to the point that I look forward to and enjoy exercise.   I hope I get there one day.  I'm always happy I did it but I wouldn't say I enjoy it yet.   I just know its what I need to do. 

I wonder what I'm going to look like when I get to my goal.  I'm pretty sure I wont look like the women I see in the fitness magazines.  I want to look like that, but I have stretch marks, I've had 3 kids,  I have a scar on my stomach from a surgery I had as a baby that makes my stomach look deformed.   I worry about my skin not bouncing back and it being saggy.     I know in my head that all of this doesn't really matter and health is the main goal,  I just can't help having these thoughts run through my head.  I just have to push them to the back of my brain and keep pushing on.. I can't look any worse right?  

Rest day

Today is Friday! Friday and Monday are our rest days and I get to sleep in an extra hour! Love them. I dont mind the Saturday and Sunday workouts cuz I dont have to get up at 5:30 to do them. Yesterday I bought us a new set of dumbell bars. The kind u add your own weights to. We only had one and it made it harder for us to do the same exersices at the same time. The other thing I would love to get for our workout area is a big mirror so I can watch my muscles work as Im working out and make sure Im keeping the correct form.

Today is also weigh-in day. I was down another 2 pounds this week!! Ben lost 2.2 lbs. That stinker always has to show me up. Honestly though Im just glad he is working hard to get healthier. He was a heartattack waiting to happen!

Sore

Thats what I am,, sore sore sore! That's ok though,, that means what I am doing is working!  I've been staying on track with my workouts and food!  On Sunday Ben and I went to Spiece gym and I got to work out with my sister and Ben worked out with Jason who is training for a bodybuilding contest!  Ben defiantly got his workout in!  As did I.  Dawn and I worked out pretty much our entire body all in one day.  She showed me what she does throughout the week and gave me some new ideas that I can do here at home.  It was really nice to be able to use the equipment there but overall most of the stuff we can still do at home with our free weights.  Maybe one day when life slows down and Emma gets a little older we will be able to get a gym membership but for now I think we are making the most of what we have.   '

I took some of the stuff she showed me and reworked my fitness plan adding some things here and there on different days.  As of last Friday I've lost 19 pounds!  And Ben has lost 40!!!!  It feels so amazing to be working so hard towards our health.  I just feel like a better person.  Its hard to explain... Oh and last week I had my first person outside of my family notice my weight loss.  A person I babysit for occasionally was picking up her child and said I was looking great and she could defiantly tell a difference!!!  That made my day!  I've been waiting for someone to say something. I'm not fishing for compliments but I can tell and was wondering when others would be able to start noticing.  Its very obvious when you look at Ben but mine has been a little slower going.   I'm sure also whenever I  buy some new clothes that fit a little tighter,,,(mine are all getting loose) it will be more obvious.  

My fitness pal

Just wanted to say that if anyone reading this uses my fitness pal. Feel free to add me as a friend. Then you can view my food diary. My username is everydaymom

I workout!

Ilove being able to say that! 5 outta 7 days a week is what we are doing right now! I no longer feel like a lazy bum. We have been getting up at 5:30 am and getting our exersice in before the kids get up and Ive got babysitting kids showing up. If you know me personaly you know what a big deal it is for me to get up that early. I am NOT a morning person! But, it is great to get up and get it outta the way because by the end of the day which would be my next timeframe i can workout I am wiped out! Its worth it to see and feel these changes in my body.
Pictured is what we have been doing everyday. I start with the cardio and then move on to the weights. You should see how much I sweat on the elliptical! Its crazy! I actually dispise the elliptical and hate sweating and getting so out of breath but its what I have to do to make this happen. I have tried loaing weight again since I gained without working out and it just didnt work. I dont know if its cuz Im older or what but Ive got to exersize. Plus I want my body to be toned and tight. Not jiggely. :) This is only the 2nd week of this workout plan. Before that I was just doing random things. And let me tell you, when we first got the elliptical I could barley do 5 minutes. Now I can go as long as I need to and at a much faster pace. But it definatly is hard! And seems like time goes so slow when Im on there!
Amyways that is what we are doing and I feel great about it!

Calories

One of the things I love most right now about this journey is that my husband, Ben, is taking it with me.  It is so much easier when you have a partner.   When I dont feel like working out he encourages me to do it.  He has lost over 30  pounds so far and as of last Friday I have lost 16.  I actually think its more than that because a few weeks ago our other scale broke and we had to get a new one and it weighed us a little heavier than the other one.... but honestly the numbers dont matter to me that much.   I am seeing changes in my body and all my clothes are fitting looser!  I am positive I've went down a size in jeans but I want to wait until I go down another size before I buy any new ones,  It can get expensive buying clothes while you are in the process of loosing weight. 

I mentioned using myfitnesspal and the calorie goal it set me for to lose 2lb per week is 1490.  When I do cardio and add that in the calories go up but I dont usually eat them.   When I first started the calories it gave me was 1550 so it has went down.. I guess the more you loose the less you get to eat.  LOL   Overall though I'm just trying to make good healthy choices.   I just recently over the weekend got some good vitamins for Active women.   So I am taking 2 of those each morning and we also got some protein powder to help build our lean muscles and replenish our bodies after workouts.  

Tomorrow I will talk about how we are exercising and how much I've improved in that aspect already!!